Blame it on the Ferret
by Dea Thaed
Summary: it is rated what it is for a reason. this is seventh year and Harry and Draco are going at it. not the slash way. this will be my only HET story. the war is over and everyone is alive. well except voldemort that is. includes genderbender timetravel fem slash and more.
1. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter Universe that is copyrighted by J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

Warning: This will have fem Slash in it. However brief…. It will be my only Het story… and I am only writing because it is stuck in my head and I must. This story is rated what it is for a reason if you ignore that and my warnings and read something you do not like…. That is your fault. I will warn of scenes that may or may not meet your fancy. Skip them if you must.

Summary: prank war of marauder proportions that goes too far or…. Just plain went wrong. And as things are never normal for Harry Potter they just get worse. These problems include a potion gone wrong, gender bender, fem slash, hardheaded stubborn males, time travel, marauder war, secret books, and more. And not necessarily in that order. For a side note everyone is alive. Well the important people. Dumbledore, Snape, Sirius, Remus, Fred, etc. and the war is over! And the Malfoys are spies.

A/N…. I know. Why start another story when I cannot complete the …4… I had to count… other stories I have not completed yet. Let me tell you. If you had a plot bunny consisting of a fem Harry, Sev, Narcissa, Lucius and a despondent Sirius all dancing the can-can until you're laughing because Narcissa can't keep her hands off of 'Sumei and they are all wearing show girl clothes….. You would write it too. That or commit me to the psych ward…. Whichever works… but I hope you enjoy.

Prologue:

The date is November 5th and Hogwarts can't seem to figure out what to do. Her and her inhabitants have front row seats to the weirdest battle they have ever seen. I guess what we need to start off with is this.

On the train to start the new term, Harry sat in a compartment with 5 other people. These 5 people consisted of Hermione Granger. Seventh year, head girl, resident know it all; she was sitting closest to the door with a book in hand. Sitting next to her was her boyfriend Ronald Weasley, local strategist and blockhead to any female and emotion. Harry sat next to him, need I make an introduction? And to Harry's right in the corner seat sat Neville and Luna, The 'dream team' as Harry has been often to call them; Neville with his head in the dirt and Luna with her head in the clouds. In the seat opposite sat the prince of Slytherin, master of 'who needs gel? This is natural.' What I forgot to mention is that they all looked at him; slacked jawed and wide eyed. And he?

Draco Malfoy tried to sit there like he owned the world. But he didn't fool anybody. His back was ramrod straight, his hands fidgeting, his scowl firmly planted, and his eyes shifting from face to face.

"Enough of your crazy fish impressions! It was a simple enough statement. Take it or leave it." Harry Potter took it. Literally. Standing he held out his hand and welcomed Draco in the fold. There was fine print though.

Harry not to let old dogs lay initiated the first part of his plan. Once leaving the train he was glad that Draco had never decided to grow his hair like his father. Because the short Blonde hair now had a red and gold Lion chasing after a yellow and black badger. A green and silver snake made to attack the Badger before a blue and bronze eagle swooped down and snagged the snake before it escaped. In the hall it was very noticeable on the blonde canvas. By the end of the meal everyone had noticed it. Including the brooding blonde himself. But like a Slytherin he had planned and like a Malfoy. He didn't take things lying down.

At the end of the feast he stood and walked over to Harry, sticking out his hand and smiled. Harry took the offering believing that he had won this round. But upon contact his hair turned acid green and unicorn blood silver. Harry laughed.

"So it will last until the feast tomorrow." Draco smirked.

"Oh don't worry. It should fade by the end of the week." He turned to leave the great hall. "See you in class Potter."

Smiling Harry finished his meal before going to bed. He had payback to plan.

The rest of Hogwarts could have shivered if it was possible.

A/N this is just an opener. The next chapter will have actual detail and stuff so don't worry. It should be up by the end of today I'm thinking. It's just something I have to write before I lose it.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own. And I do not make money.

Warning: well it's really mild right now. But the story can actually start now with the prologue out of the way.

Chapter 1:

The date was November 5th and Harry was late. He started running as soon as he realized that he had slept in. Normally if it was any other day he would have went right back to sleep or at least walked leisurely, but today was not another day. Today he was late to potions. Draco was going to kill him.

_Forget Draco, Snape is going to skin you alive and have you use it as potions ingredients. _Damn. Trying to make his legs move quicker he jumped down the last few steps to the dungeon. His footsteps echoed against the stone as he raced through the maze. The door came into sight and he pushed it just a little more. As he reached for the handle the door was pulled open and expecting there to be something solid there he stumbled. Reaching for anything he grabbed the closest thing. And held on for dear life.

The first thought that went through his head as his momentum stopped was "SAFE!" But when he looked up at the class and saw them all starring at him in horror he had second thoughts. His eyes focused on Malfoy who looked like he was pretty close to letting loose the wild laughter he was holding in. He then felt his stomach drop. It was only when whatever he was holding onto moved that the horror set in. He looked up into the livid face of the potions master. In the split two seconds it had taken Harry to crash into the man and hold on for dear life it took one for a squeak to sound in the room before Harry was seen bolting for his seat next to Draco.

Harry held his head down as Malfoy snickered next to him. A few other people giggled before everything went silent. The sound of a door closing and the click of heels sent chills down his spine. He could feel the glare burning holes into his skull.

"Now that Mr. Potter has decided to join us, you may begin. And Mr. Potter 100 points from Gryffindor. Well what are you all waiting for? GET TO WORK."

His insides were freezing. He could feel it.

Draco nudged his ribs and handed him the list of ingredients they needed. Getting up and crossing the room to the store room he could feel that cold glare on him the entire time until he was sitting again.

Draco snickered again. "Wow Potter, way to go." He clenched his teeth and set about cutting the root.

Half an hour later when the potion was done, Harry would have thought the feeling of unease would have gone away. But as Snape called time and ordered them to bottle their potions it only grew stronger. The entire class he had felt those eyes trying to skin him. He looked around the room and looked at the other potions. A dusky green. He looked at the vial Malfoy had handed him; the shimmery purple liquid stared back at him.

He turned to ask Draco what they did wrong when the class was once again silent and a shadow fell over him. His mouth went dry. This was it. He was going to die.

"Mr. Potter?"

His eyes met the blazing ebony ones. "Yes sir?"

"What is that you're holding?" Harry looked down at the potion, then back up to his professor.

"A… potion sir?"

The man arched a brow and an evil gleam entered his eyes. "Really. And what potion would that be. Your abysmal attempt is nowhere near what it is supposed to be."

Harry hung his head. "I don't know sir."

"And its effects?" He closed his eyes.

"I don't know sir."

"Ah, so for the sake of science you shall be trying It." His head snapped up as cries echoed around the room.

"SILENCE"

"Sir?"

"Do really need me to reiterate?" He swallowed.

"No sir." He looked back at the potion.

"Then what is it you are waiting for?"

_Are you just going to let him do this? Stand up straight. Buck up. Just get it over with. Stop being such a pansy. I mean really, it is just a potion and it probably won't be that bad, think of this way, Malfoy…_

His head snapped around to note the look of mirth in Draco's eyes, it was then he knew. This was all Draco's fault. He looked back at Snape, who had his arms folded and eyebrow raised.

"We are waiting Mr. Potter." He looked down at the potion and sighed. At least he knew that Draco wouldn't brew something meant to hurt him. And he downed the bottle in one go.

At least on purpose.

He was standing long enough to see the flabbergasted look that crossed the potions masters face.

-line break-

He blinked up at the familiar white ceiling. He sighed. The hospital wing. Again. There was a white curtain surrounding his bed but that didn't block out the yelling coming from beyond it.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Git. Check.

"Me?! What the hell what you thinking? Making him try a potion even you didn't recognize!" Draco. Check.

"That idiot was not supposed to actually drink it!"

"what did you expect?" Ron. Check.

"I expected that arrogant snot to grovel and complain and whine. NOT ACTUALLY TAKE IT!"

"Well Professor that is not Harry. You should know that by now." Hermione. Check.

"Mr. Malfoy what was the original potion?" Dumbledore. Check.

"Well it was just a joke potion." The silence was thick. Harry could imagine every eyes looking at Draco and he had to hold in the snickers. There was a huff. "I had to get him back for giving me duck vocals for a day so I went to the twins and asked them to give me a recipe to change him." A groan. Snape maybe.

"What was this potion Mr. Malfoy?" Madame Pomfrey. Check.

"Well it was just supposed to give him tits but obviously that didn't work."

"Where is this recipe?" There was a shuffle of papers. A couple minutes passed before there was a deep sigh.

"Don't worry professor. She won't be too mad." Luna. Check.

Wait she? '_It was only supposed to give him tits…'_dread.

With shaking hands he lifted the sheet just barely to look underneath. The first thing he noticed was the hands. They were a woman's hands. Slim with long fingers; Long fingernails. The second he noticed was he did indeed have tits. If he had to guess he would say a C….

_How the bloody hell would you know?! _ A blush spread across his cheeks. And then he froze. Was he a he? With a shaking hand he reached for the waistband of the hospital pants.

~outside the curtain~

"AHHH!..." the 7 people watched as a blue streak rushed passed them into the loo. A final click echoed as they processed the owner of the high pitched scream was indeed awake.

"MALFOY!" said person flinched. "Give me tits! Give me tits! You turned me into a bloody girl…. What was wrong with my bits you bloody wanker!" Ron burst into laughter while Hermione, Luna, and Madame Pomfrey all flushed. Hermione tentatively knocked on the door.

"Harry, it's not that you don't have bits." She looked back at the other occupants. Ignoring the horrified look Malfoy was giving her. "it is just that you have a different set of bits."

"Hermione that does not help me at all." Came the despondent reply.

Ron let out the laughter he was holding in as he held onto the nearest bed. 6 pairs of eyes silenced him.

Draco nudged Granger out of the way. Oblivious to the two behind him he pulled out his wand and unlocked the door. He grasped the handle. "Look Harry, I'm sor…" As the door fell open the three people froze. Unsure of what happened, the other four occupants looked on in wonder. Oblivious to the site behind the three men in the door way.

The redhead standing behind Malfoy gaped then quickly covered his nose with his hand. "Bloody hell Harry why are you naked?"

*SMACK*

Malfoy's head swung to the left. As Harry tried to cover herself, his eyes connected to that of his flushed godfather. His jaw hanging open just slightly, a glazed look in his eyes. With a smirk he covered his eyes.

"Harry I'm sorr..."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING" she pulled the oversized hospital shirt over her head and hugged her sides. A crimson blush spreading down her neck.

"Honestly? Trying not to look…:"

"Before that you bastard!" Harry growled venomously.

"I was trying to apologize."

"With the door wide open?"

"Well we didn't think you would have thrown your clothes off in your breakdown…" Came the mumbled reply from Ron.

"well what would you have done if your bits have disappeared? I was not going to check if I was just tucked where anyone could have walked in one me."

"Mr.….Ms.…" Snape raised his hand to cover his mouth, trying to remove the evidence of his shock. "POTTER."

Her glare focused on the dark man towering behind the red head. "YOU! What's wrong with you, you great bat! I am not my father, hell I'm not even male! And you're staring like I'm some sideshow freak! This is your entire fault!" Her head fell into her hands as her shoulders started to shake. "GET OUT!" The three males were pushed back out of the door way. "What's wrong with me?"

Madame Pomfrey, Hermione and Luna glared at the three as they walked into the small room and locked the door behind them. Professor Snape, the headmaster, Ron, and Draco all stared at the closed door. Before the blonde smirked.

"Well if her hormones are like this when she's NOT PMSing, I would hate to be around her when she is." The four men paled at the thought.

A/N so this is the official first chapter of Blame it on the Ferret. Ya I know. It's a little late. But Let me know what you think. TTFN


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, at all, and never will (T-T) own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore or any other character idea, spell, place, etc… from the original Harry Potter Universe.

Warning: There will be fem slash. Only a tiny bit in this story …. Who knows. Eventually will be Harry/Snape. She will not be turning back into male, I am sorry. If you do not like you do not have to read it.

A/N hey hey hey…. It's been a while. There is a new poll on my profile. If any of you have read World so cold, go ahead and vote. But here's the next chapter.

Chapter two:

Harry sat with her back pushed against the wall, her knees pulled close. She had her head buried in her arms as the three witches looked at her.

"Harry…" Hermione sat on the floor next to her and lightly touched her shoulder.

"That's a boy's name…"

"It can be short for Harriette." Luna put her twp piece in from atop the sink. Harry looked up at her friend in horror as both Hermione and Mme Pomfrey winced.

Harry shook her head. "No." Then a small smile spread across her face as she hugged her knees a little tighter. "A new me a new name." she then buried her head in her arms again. The three heard the whisper. "But why me?"

"My dear I know this is all confusing to you but we need you to talk to us. As females we know some of what you're going through."

"What's wrong with me? I feel like one second I'm happy, excited then I feel like I want to cry. And I smacked Draco! He must hate me…"

~meanwhile~

"Hello Uncle Severus." Draco sat across from his potions professor a mischievous gleam in his eyes. After seeing the effect his friend had on his godfather he decided to play a game. A very dangerous game. A game that could very likely get him killed… well hexed. His godfather wouldn't kill him would he?

"Malfoy you really should get that looked at." Snape ignored the brat. He was still trying to figure out why he had reacted the way he had to the girl. She did look like her… a bit. He shook his head.

Dumbledore sat in a chair next the room the four women occupied, happily munching on a lemon drop. He looked at his boy a chuckled. He still couldn't figure it out. He likely wouldn't. He watched the young Weasley walk up to Mr. Malfoy.

"Hey Malfoy, what do you figure they're doing in there?"

"Really Ginger? You have to ask?"

Severus was trying to ignore their inane chatter. Tried being the key word. {"Hey don't need to be that way. So what do you think?" "Me? I'm rather inclined to think they are 'showing her the ropes'." "Malfoy!"} But they words brought on images no teacher should be thinking of their students and colleagues. He then remembered his own time in school and coughed slightly.

"Are you okay Professor?" The blonde smiled sweetly at him.

"Of course your conversation just reminded me of your mother is all…" He stood and swiftly left the ward. As memories of Narcissa and the one he lost came to the forefront. He missed the confused expression on his godsons face as the door closed.

"So wait… let me get this straight." Harry stood pacing the small space in front of the three women, her hands waving back and forth. "Once a month I'm going to turn into Hermione?"

"Harry!"

"Well she does act as if she is, the nargles surround her most of these days."

"Ms. Potter it's not like you're a werewolf. You are not turning into something else; it is a slight change in your moods and body. Not noticeable to everyone else."

Hermione had her arms crossed, as Harry mimicked the gesture.

"You all say this stuff like it's going to be relevant to me." They all avoided her gaze. "Right?"

Hermione uncrossed her arms and tried not to look guilty. "Harry we don't know if it is permanent or not." She looked at Mme Pomfrey. "But most procedures are…"

Harry hung her head. "I am so going to kill the twins."

"Come on Ms. Potter let's get you some clean clothes." They opened the door and looked into the ward. Malfoy and Ron were still arguing over by the doors. They walked over to her bag, which sat next to the bed. Dumbledore stood as they entered.

"Ah I assume you will be going to get Ms. Potter some proper clothing?" They all nodded. He clapped his hands together. "Good, good. Now Ms. Potter I assume that you will be figuring out a new name while on this trip."

"Yes sir." By this time Malfoy and Ron had joined them.

"Good I'll expect you all back before curfew." He led Mme Pomfrey to her office. "Now my dear…"

The five looked at each other before Ron spoke up. "So where to first?"

"First I shall floo my parents and get permission to access the vault." He walked over to the fireplace and stuck his head in the fire. A few minutes later he pulled his head out and walked towards them. "Come on we have some shopping to do."

They all looked at him as he grabbed some more floo powder and watched as he yelled out 'Diagon Alley' before stepping into the bright green flames. Luna followed shortly after. The trio looked at each other before Ron shrugged.

"I guess we should follow the ferret." And they too went through. Harry felt self conscious stepping through the floo only in her hospital pj's. A slight blush spread across her cheeks as she tried to hide unsuccessfully behind the wavy dark hair. Draco grabbed her hand and pulled her towards Madame Malkins. A couple stopped and stared at them as the group of students rushed passed into the store.

"Mr. Malfoy?" Madame Malkin stood behind a counter and rushed around to them. "What can I do for you?"

The blonde stood up straight and pushed Harry forward. "We need a whole new wardrobe for my friend here."

The woman bustled forward and Pulled Harry to the pedestal; measuring her arms, bust, waist, and legs. Harry felt an uncomfortable feeling when to woman reached around her using the tape to squash the new additions on her chest, blushing a bright crimson color that made Ron laugh she kept trying to brush her hair behind her ear before smoothing out a couple seconds later. When she finally stepped back she smiled. "What will we be getting for today miss..?"

Harry thought for a moment before speaking slowly. "Zetsumei Jade Lillien."

Madame Malkin smiled; a confused look entering her eyes as she focused on her face, before she smiled widely. "Okay Miss Lillien, what will we be getting for you?" Zetsumei stood awkwardly for a second.

"You can just call me Sumei." She whispered. At The woman's absentminded nod she continued. "I need school robes, some formal robes, and casual wear. "She thought for another moment. "And cloaks to match, please."

The woman bustled about muttering to herself. "And are there specific colors we are looking for?" Before she could open her mouth to answer, Draco stepped forward.

"Darker colors; Mostly Blacks, grays, greens, blues, and maybe purple." Sumei pursed her lips to prevent herself from smiling. For someone she had just started being friends with, he knew her pretty well. Madame Malkin was nodding vigorously as she was already grabbing the mentioned colors before Draco spoke. She grabbed several garments and started piling them up. On the table next Sumei, There were mostly open robes which made her like the woman even more. She hated the stuffy feeling of closed robes and preferred the ones that hung open in the front. Next came a couple pairs of slacks and tops.

"Excuse me?" Madame Malkin looked at her curiously.

"Yes dear." Sumei looked at the small pile of blouses the woman was holding than looked at the spaghetti tops.

"I would actually like those much more." She stepped down and walked over to the rack that held some silk button up shirts. "And these. I like these a lot more than those blouses." She looked at the woman sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Nonsense dear. It is your wardrobe; your input helps a lot." As she gathered clothes, Sumei grabbed a pair of coal gray slacks, black spaghetti top, and a white silk top that matched her curves. She stepped over into the changing area and changed out of the hospital clothes. Pulling the slacks on she made a note to find someplace to get some underwear. The thought made her blush as images of pink frilly stuff danced through her head. An involuntary shudder went down her spine. NEVER.

She slipped the top on over the Spaghetti top and buttoned the bottom three buttons. She looked in the conjured mirror and almost choked. She turned a little to the side, the slacks hugged her hips nicely, making her arse stand out to her discomfort. She ran her hand over the left side; she tried to pull the soft material of the black top down to cover it. The material gave way but did not hide her rear any more than the slacks did. She looked down and tried to pull the top back up as she had pulled it down a 'little' too much; exposing a lot of cleavage. Her blush deepened and again she looked in the mirror. The white silk conformed to her curves comfortable without restraining her movements and accentuated her assets, as Hermione had tried to explain to her. She looked over her image once more before summoning a black ribbon and tying her mid back length black hair to hang over her right shoulder. Thinking it was better than the hospital clothes she left the little room.

Unaware that everyone was waiting. And now staring. The intensity in which Draco and Ron looked at her made her blush ten times worse. Hermione squealed and both her and Madame Malkin rushed over to her. Giving her tips and speaking just too fast for her to catch it all.

"…Black really…"

"….I remember this looked…."

"… and this…"

At least Draco was good for something. "Madame we will like to purchase what you have out. We really do need to return to the school." The woman needed vigorously and totaled it all. As she did that Sumei grabbed a black cloak to wear. She noticed a pair of shoes sitting with her stuff. Innocently a pair of black high heels sat there. She looked at them for a moment before shrugging and pulling them on, despite the feeling of horror that came from the part of her that still thought of itself as 'he'.

She walked carefully over to Draco to hear the last part. "That will be 131 Galleons and 22 sickles Mr. Malfoy." Draco quickly handed her the money and shrunk all the bags stuffing them in his pocket.

As he turned around she scowled at him. "What?"

"Malfoy I could have paid for these."

He shook his head. "I got you into this mess it was the least I could do. "

She thought for a moment. Her fingers tapping her lips lightly. "No you didn't." she walked from the store ignoring the stares as she walked passed numerous people towards the busiest shop on the street. She could hear the others try to catch up to her as she opened the door and let out the sounds of laughter and giggles into the street. Stepping inside she gripped her wand as she immediately accosted by her to favorite. (Least favorite right now) pranksters.

"A miss, welcome to Weasleys Wizard Wheezes." The two gingers spoke together, stood proudly in their suits. George's right side was purple while the left was orange. Fred's being the Opposite. "Now what can we do for you? A Love potion perhaps." George said. He was elbowed in the ribs by Fred. "Not that you need it eh?"

She smirked as she pulled her wand. "Hello Fred," she looked right at him, "George." They looked at her carefully then almost simultaneously as the others walked in the stepped back and held up their hands.

"Harry, Love, how are you?" They backed into the counter and started inching away.

"I'm sorry that's not my name. It is Zetsumei Jade Lillien."

They backed up a couple more inches. "Ah a Lovely name wouldn't you say so Fred?" "Yes beautiful." They were behind the counter now.

She growled and pointed her wand them. "You two are going to fix this."

They looked at each other and smirked. "Nah, I don't think so." "Ya love, we kind of like you this way."

She almost lunged for a second before the overwhelming urge to cry made her stop. Her lips parted slightly and she let out a shaky breath and she sniffled. _Sniffled!_ They looked at her with horrified looks and quickly rushed to her side. "Hey love, don't cry. We'll fix it."

"Ya don't worry."

Hermione pushed them away and pulled her close, giving them a dark look. "Of course you'll do something. This is your fault mostly. You'll just have to work with Snape to do it."

They made dramatic gasps. "What?" Fred

"Really?" George.

"You mean it?" Fred.

"We get to work with _Severus Snape._?" Both. And they pretended to swoon. Against what she was feeling she couldn't help it, she giggled. They smiled at her.

"Actually Gred I heard he was straight as a wand." They were all trying so hard to cheer Sumei up the missed the dark shadow passing over the door.

"No! Forge tell me you're lying." He grabbed his brother and started to shake him. She laughed lightly. Missing the jingle as the door was pushed open. "The Potions master has to be gay! He just has to." He sniffled. "Why?" He fell to his knees. "Why would you ruin my dream like that." By now they were all laughing. They missed the Dark figure that stood behind them. Well they all missed except Draco. Who blanched. Ron looked at the ferret for a second then to where he was looking and spluttered. They both quickly tapped Hermione and Luna's shoulder and pointed behind them. By this point Sumei was giggling insistently, and the twins kept going.

Fred kneeled down and placed a hand on his brothers' shoulder. "I'm so sorry brother. But I had to. I could not let you get heartbroken by that Sexy Git." Ron and Draco tried to get their attention. They really did. They kept fearfully looking over their shoulders at the man in question. Who looked to be fuming. "That and I believe our little Zetsumei here is more suited for him then you brother dear." They both fell over each other laughing as Sumei squawked and giggled some more.

"Mr. Weasleys." Came the dark, dangerous, silky, and almost sexy growl that Sumei dreaded to hear at that moment. "What exactly do you think you are doing?"

The gingers jumped up and slung their arms around his shoulders. He gave a withering glare. "Snape!" "Look who it is." "What do we owe this pleasure?" "Yes tell us what we can do for the youngest potions master in history." *They both detached themselves and fell to floor bowing insistently. "Oh we are worms! Worthless worms* compared to your greatness." Sumei watched as the man's lip twitched. She giggled along with everyone else. The man folded his arms and it was then the Sumei realized that he was not wearing his normal robes. He was wearing a nice cloak over slacks, and button up white pressed shirt. It made him look almost…. She froze. And smacked herself. In that instant everyone looked at her.

And she blushed. What would you have done in this instance?

A/N hahaha. End. Sorry. But it felt right. I am also sorry it took so long for me to update. Any of my stories. Now if anyone can tell me where the ** sequence comes from I will post a special chapter just for you. But you have to get it right. Tell me what you think. TTFN.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do NOT own, or make money. Obviously that is what every disclaimer of mine is saying.

Warning: There will be femslash…..somewhere. Just not here. Eventually…. Just not yet… do I make any sense to you? Also as a hazard warning, may contain spelling and grammar errors. For some reason I get really excited when I write and end up typing like some crazy on crack.

A/N So it hasn't been that long, my belief is if I keep giving you updates every couple weeks that will keep you happy enough that when I get caught up and don't update for a couple months… no one will kill me. Though voicing that belief now makes me think otherwise... just no tomatoes. Waste of a perfectly good fruit you hear?

Chapter 3

Zetsumei was bored. That was all she cared about as Fred took blood from her. More blood from her. It had been this way for a week.

She smirked.

A very fun week.

You see, while trying to think of a way to get back at Draco she played the helpless girl card. All week she had him ride the hormonal rollercoaster and she almost… but not much… felt bad for him. Him who was standing five feet away with the twins, Hermione, and Snape.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she looked at the man. He was leaning over the cauldron just so that she had the perfect view of is arse. He had divested himself of his robes once he had started to get hot and more into brewing. She shook her head. A week she had been sitting on these awkward thoughts and still she had no explanation as to why to man's voice made a chill run up her legs straight to her fingers, she crossed her legs at the feet as the she watched the man bend over a piece of parchment; his hair fanning about his face as he murmured to himself. She didn't understand how he could just look at her with those smoldering eyes and she felt like she could barely breathe. She did not understand why she had such a fascination with the man's' longs fingers and toned frame. She pulled her shirt down a bit and leaned forward as the man got an intense look of inspiration, dropping in a white flower and stirring in a figure eight. She shook her head, threw her hands in the air and turned around.

She would not watch him.

She had been telling herself this all week from the second she realized she was checking the man out. A man she grumbled to herself. Just not that long ago she was a man. Her hand rested on her thigh. No longer, but to get over the feelings and fall into the role so quickly… She felt okay with what had happened to her. Her eyes trailed to Hermione's figure. She was still bi then. She shook the thought and watched as Draco and Hermione bickered in the corner with George, and Fred and Snape looking at the potion. Making small notes on a piece of parchment. They were going through a lot of trouble to change her back. Or try to change her back that is. And she didn't even know if she wanted to.

Fred stirred the potion with a yew stick for a couple minutes before they both sat back. And the bickering stopped. They watched intently as Snape took a bit of the potion and added it to some blood they had on a clear dish. He then took it to a telescope and watched the reaction. A smile broke across his thin lips and a sinking feeling went through her. The man left the telescope and handed her a vial filled with a bluish green looking thing. Almost opposite to the one Draco had brewed. They all smiled at her. Encouragement. Even the potions master though his was a confused sad smile.

But a smile none the less.

She looked at the potion and then back at the group. If it worked she… he would be back.

It was supposed to be easy.

Then again she was supposed to want it.

SNAPES POV

She was looking at him again. It was happening a lot lately. He couldn't decide whether it annoyed him or made him sad. She did resemble her. Just a little bit. Hell he was stupid to deny that they looked eerily similar. He watched as the purple potion turned green and then decided to test it again.

She was just confused. Logically it was the hormones. At least that's what his mind kept telling him. But after seeing the woman in the restroom his body was saying something entirely different. The bickering stopped as they all watched him test the potion. The blood on the dish absorbed the potion and then slowly it changed back to that of male DNA. He let out a sad sigh leaving the telescope.

The five minutes it took to prep the potion felt like hours. Honestly he did not want to do this. He snuck a glance at her. She was a beautiful woman. She worried her lip as he approached her entire demeanor screamed that she didn't want this. If she said a word he would destroy it. if she wanted to stay this way he would give that to her.

Because she looked like her.

His….

And still nothing.

He couldn't remember much about her. The last thing he remembered was her apologizing and casting a specific obliviate at him. He still remembered her face, how she felt against him. The smell of her hair. But he could remember nothing about her.

Including her name.

He was sure that Albus remembered. But everyone else was like him. They remembered nothing.

His fingers brushed hers as she obediently took the potion from him. He willed her to say no. Anything. But with everyone else he smiled and nodded his head. If this was what she wanted he would just mourn the reminder of 'her'.

RONS POV

Ron looked into the muggle telescope… thingy. And watched as the normal looking pool of red started to separate and reform. It seemed as if the blood was reacting violently. Trying to dispel the potion mixed with it. He watched transfixed as the blood seemed to boil before disappearing. Slowly standing up he walked over to his professor and tried to get his attention.

"Hey Snape."

The man shook his hand off. He followed the man's gaze and looked at his best friend. She smiled at everyone before drinking the potion. They all watched for a second before the features began to change, there were a couple sighs and Ron thought that for a second he had no reason to worry. Snape chose this second to look at him.

"What is it Weasley?"

"The blood in the dish."

"What of it?"

"Well what would be your educated guess about it if it reacts violently then disappears?"

"Hmm… well I would say that the potion… disappeared?" The man sounded alarmed as he rushed over to the microscope. He started muttering to himself before he gasped out.

"Sumei!" He turned on his heels in time to watch the young man standing there quickly turn back into a female. She started to sweat and wobbled a little bit. All six of the room's occupants rushed to help her but not before she disappeared in a small flash of light. The five of them turned to look at Snape, who had fallen into a chair.

"I remember her name."

A/N okay short in many ways. Tells you what's happened and now the story is really moving… well sorta. Its movement depends on my writing it… so somewhat moving. But not much. Let me know what you think. TTFN


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I and the laptop are in agreement. We do not own this. The original Harry Potter universe and all that belongs in it were and will never be ours. Thank you for listening.

Warning: There will be slash!... of some variety… here and there… over there, maybe against that wall. And there will be het, but much later. But maybe not long.

A/N I've been in the mood to write lately. Surprising considering the lack of sleep I have been graced with. I'm trying a new sleep aid tonight. Crossing my fingers. But in the meantime… Enjoy the updates. Allons-y!

Chapter 4

Sumei sat up slowly from the hard stone floor. Her head hurt like a thousand hammers missing the nail and hitting your thumb. If you even knew what one of those felt like please cringe here. She stopped her train of thought bringing her hands immediately to her chest grasping the two globes that were still there. She let out a breath of relief. A loud burst of laughter sounded to her right before a hand invaded her vision.

"Hun, I doubt that no matter what you were doing that you would worry about losing those." She grasped the slender hand. The fingernails skimmed the inside of her wrist as she trailed her gaze up the slender arm. The woman was wearing a black tank top that emphasized her breasts. A lot. Sumei's breath caught in her throat as she raised her eyes along the slender neck to the soft aristocratic face that was surrounded by lovely blonde waves. She looked into the dark blue eyes of the other woman and instantly recognized her as the same woman who had saved her life at the battle.

But there was something wrong. This version looked younger; her pale skin unmarred and smooth. A smile touched her supple lips as she helped pull her from the floor. Slowly taking back her hand she looked carefully around the room. There were a couple other people standing around them. A blonde man looked at her with curiosity. He reminded her of Draco in some ways. There was another youth that looked almost like Sirius. He just had shorter hair and his eyes resembled cool ice rather than Sirius' navy. It was the last person that had her worried. Okay freaked out more like it.

The last man stood tall, his arms folded across his black chest. His long black hair was pulled over his left shoulder. He looked down at her critically; his nose wasn't as hooked though. So it hadn't been broken yet. His eyes flashed with interest. A look she had often seen before. But this man… was her age, maybe a year older. His slim hands held the ebony wand loosely but at the ready. And he still radiated dark power. As if noticing she was gawking at him his lip quirked, stretching into a smirk.

Severus Snape.

She looked back at the blonde. His platinum hair fell to just below his shoulders. His steel eyes narrowed.

Lucius Malfoy.

She scanned the room. It was the same Slytherin setting. A potions room stashed to the side that was rarely used. And these people…

She gulped.

"Holy bloody fuck." The Sirius look alike snorted gracefully. If that was even possible. Narcissa covered her mouth trying to hide her giggle. Lucius and Severus… Snape! Both frowned.

"How elegant. My I ask who you are and what you are doing here." Lucius' hand twitched as if reaching for his wand.

She looked panicked towards the door before biting her bottom lip.

"My name is Zetsumei Jade Lillien. And…"

This was the moment the door opened and a white head looked into the room.

"Ah miss Lillien. There you are. I trust the portkey was a success then?"

Internally she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Albus! Yes it was fine. I think you had it set wrong, was I not supposed to arrive in your office? And I swear I told you to call me Sumei." The older gentleman stepped into the room and looked at the four other adults. His eyes sparkled slightly. He understood that she was asking that they go to his office and was telling him her name and that she knew him.

He waved his hand dismissively. "I am sorry my dear, I am always forgetting these things. I see you have met some of the students."

"Yes I was introducing myself when you came in."

It was at this moment that Se...Snape spoke up. "And who exactly are you."

The two looked at him. Sumei didn't know how to answer this question, but it seemed she didn't have to.

"Ah yes, where are my manners. Severus, Lucius, Regulus, Narcissa, I would like to introduce my great Niece. She is transferring here as of today."

She breathed a sigh of relief. But it sounded more as a huff. "Thanks uncle. Now that's all they'll know." His smile widened as he held out his arm for her to take. The other four look relieved. But Sever… Snape! looked suspicious.

"Excuse me but what did you use as a portkey?" she pointed to the button on her deep purple button up shirt.

"I was supposed to point at this and say Fawkes and it was supposed to take me to his office." She glared at Albus. "Obviously this didn't go as planned." He studied her for a moment. Before nodding. The suspicious glint hadn't disappeared entirely though.

Dumbledore placed his hand over hers when she grabbed a hold of his arm. "That is my fault Dear as I just set it to portkey to me. I was down the hall when I felt the wards inform me of your arrival. I had just checked the previous room before I heard your voice."

She smiled up at him and nodded. "Well let us go and get everything sorted shall we?" She sneaked a glance at Narcissa and Snape… Severus… Snap...Severus! They both looked on in interest and curiosity. She smiled shyly before they left the room.

"Come my dear we have much to discuss."

It took a few minutes to reach the office but once they were sitting and were sure they were not going to be disturbed did they start to talk. Dumbledore had his hands folded on his desk.

"So tell me the story. I am sure it is a good one."

She laughed nervously. "Well I'm not sure about half of the details. And I'm not sure what I can and cannot tell you… but here goes. My name is Zetsumei Jade Lillien. Though it was just recently changed to that because of a prank. My name was Harry Potter." Dumbledore raised his eyebrow as he stuck a round yellow candy in his mouth. "The prank changed my gender. It was supposed to be temporary we thought. And the potions master and the people who made the prank were working to make an antidote… well it was supposed to be an antidote. But obviously I'm still a girl and I'm here… which I believe is the past."

They looked at each other before Dumbledore started to speak.

"I'm going to ask you some questions. I do not want details just a yes or no." she nodded.

"Your parents are James and Lily?" Again she nodded.

"The potions professor is Severus Snape?" She blushed as she nodded.

"You do know me?" She smiled and nodded.

"You do not know exactly how it is you came to be a girl permanently or in the past or when you are going to return?" She shook her head. He nodded and brought his fingers against his lips in thought. "I'm going to have Severus help me figure out how it is you came to be here. But as of right now we are going to stick with the story that you are my great niece who is transferring here to finish her education."

"Yes sir."

"None of that. No family of mine will ever call me sir." She smiled widely.

"Yes Albus." He stood and held his arm out again.

"Come dinner is about to begin. We'll introduce you and sort you then. I'll have your supplies to you tonight." He looked at her dress, the deep purple silk shirt over a light grey tank, with her normal black slacks and heels. "and some more clothes, I'm sure all that stuff was left behind."

"Actually. I had that stuff with me in a shrunken trunk. I figured if I was changed back I was going to be returning it. It also has some writing stuff in it but that's it." He smiled.

"That's great my dear. Just saves the Elves some trouble."

They entered the hall and everyone went quiet. They all looked at her curiously as they walked towards the head table. The hat was already on the stool waiting. Dumbledore stood in front of his seat before speaking.

"Good evening Students and professors, today we have the pleasure of getting a transfer student. I would like to introduce my great niece Zetsumei Jade Lillien. She's going to be sorted and no matter where she ends up I ask that you treat her nicely."

Sumei blushed crimson as some of the students snickered. She scowled at him. "Thank you old man. Now they all know." He twinkled at her.

"That was the idea my dear. Now hurry up now. we are waiting on you to start eating." She turned to the battered hat eyeing it critically. She didn't sit at the stool and dropped the hat on her head, waiting for the verdict. Before the hat covered her eyes she looked towards the Gryffindor table and saw the group of people she hadn't yet thought about. James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

She grimaced at the last. It would take a lot but she would have to be nice to him. That is if she would even interact with them. When darkness greeted her she breathed deeply.

If she made it through this year she was going to kill the twins.

_Well hello, what have we here?_

A/N I know a really bad place to end it. but come on did you expect anything less? I have had two NOS's today. So I apologize. Really I do. But until the next update. Please tell me what you think and keep reading. TTFN


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: This author owns nothing. Abso-bloody- lutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. And I get nothing in return in the form of money, cookies, chocolate, etc. i.e. payment of any sort.

Warning: you're going to hate me. That is your only warning. Actually… no. It's not. This story, in its entirety, will contain slash, swearing, violence, and sexual situations between two people. Get over it you bloody prudes.

A/N so you will hate me. And in a minute you will know why. Because in a minute we will go back to the beginning because while reading over the story I had the best idea, like I mean the muse was whacking me over the head with a mallet. We're playing whack the author here. And refuses to back down from this idea. Allons-Y!

Severus Snape hated Albus Dumbledore. In a way that a son would a father. The feeling permeated every cell in his body as he was forced, yet again, to take up the role of a teacher.

And he _hated _children.

The way they sniveled, cried, how they thought they were the top of the world, and everything they said was Merlin's law. He enjoyed bringing every joyous feeling, thought, smile, etc. crashing down around their midget toes.

Though he did not always feel this way.

Severus stalked down the corridor towards the great hall. Glancing at the window he spotted his godson with Potters group. He froze for a second and focused on the flashing colors that stood out on the blonde head. It almost made him laugh. Almost.

His eyes moved to the slim dark haired young man that had sent his world spiraling on its head. The green eyes smiled warmly at the know it all, and again, not for the first time, he was reminded of her.

The way the smooth lips spread across the ivory skin into a perfect smile and the corners of the almond emerald eyes upturned. He tried to fit the face from his memories in the young man's place, but as he grasped the memory the face faded and he was only left with tarnished memories. The last always stood out more than the rest.

He shook his head and continued to stalk the rest of the way to the great hall. It was September 31st and the students could finally come back. Including those 8th years.

It had taken all summer plus some to repair the school, but they had done it. He ran his hand along the stone.

Okay so he didn't hate Albus. If he hadn't come back to teach what would he do? He had nothing other than Spinners End. And the only people he had were the Malfoys after she disappeared and the others died. He only had them and the mutts, though without her the group had spread apart. The mutts blamed them. And he didn't fault them in that. He blamed himself too.

He slipped through the teachers entranced in time to watch his godsons group split up and find their seats. At the angle he got a closer look at the young man's hair and smirked.

The bronze and blue bird dropped the green and silver snake in time for it to land on top of the yellow and black badger, spooking the poor creature. The bird perched on a piece of hair and watched as the red and gold lion bowled over the other two. As the food appeared he scanned the hall again landing on the dark haired young man.

And he wished he could remember her name.

He stabbed his fork into the pile of potatoes and chewed moodily for a second before switching his eyes to Draco again. The blonde was looking up and down the table confused, as they were all trying to stay composed but were laughing all the same. He finally asked his neighbor what was so funny and it was this moment, when realization dawned on that sharp face, which Severus was glad that Albus asked him to return.

As dinner ended he watched the disgruntled blonde walk over to the trio and stick his hand out to Harry Potter. Who took the hand without really thinking, or not caring. And again he was reminded of her; her brash, careless ways.

The dark hair turned an amazing acid green color and florescent unicorn blood silver. They said good night and went their separate ways and again he was left with his thoughts.

As he made his way through the dungeon he passed by an old wooden door before backtracking and stopping in front of it. His hand touched the wood grain softly as he pushed the door to the abandoned classroom open. He watched as a group of 5 young men and 2 women stood around the tables against the wall. They each had a boiling cauldron in front of them; the three males were converged on one cauldron and stared at it as one with long dark hair added a slimy piece of flat skin to the frothing liquid. He looked out of the corner of his eye to look at the short, slim, dark haired beauty that stood at the table across the room. She was beautiful to him. He looked back at the potion as he let the skin fall into it before looking back. He watched as the woman took a step back and tripped on the rug behind her, and before he could move, watched as the slim blonde woman pulled a smaller woman against her, their noses almost touching. The perfect mouth stretched into a shy smile as the blonde held her close, a pale blush spreading down her cheeks. The green eyes sparkling as she looked towards the door straight at him.

Severus closed his eyes against the sight and breathed deeply for a moment to bury the emotions surfacing. He opened his eyes and stared at the dark, empty room. A couple of spider webs hung in the corners. The wooden tables lay on their sides; one had scorch marks on it while the other lay splintered. White sheets covered what he knew was a couch. He looked down at his feet as he forced himself not to enter the room. The rug that had covered the floor was tattered around the edges and had worn paths in some places.

He looked up imaging that face again. Her sparkling green eyes and beautiful smile. The black hair that trailed and curled softly down her back. He grasped the door handle. The woman who promised him everything. Yet took it all away.

And he closed the door on that memory.

~A couple weeks later. ~

The date was November 5th and Severus was ready to strangle someone, anyone. As long as it helped him relieve some of this pent up frustration.

It seemed that his godson and Potter had some sort of war going on. And so far he was lucky it hadn't entered his classroom. It seemed though that that may change soon. It was godsons turn.

Last week had been Potter who, he admitted reluctantly, had used an excellent transfiguration charm on his godson. Turning what was supposed to be his mouth and vocal cords into that of a ducks. It was now Draco's turn, and if the look on the young man's face was anything to go by then Mr. Potter, who also happened to be late, was in for one.

But this caused him to want to rub his temples to stave off the incoming headache.

The class was silent as they all waited. Each giving him side looks as he passed by their desk. 15 minutes into waiting and a pounding sounded down the hall, smirking he made to open the door when a hard object barreled into him making him stumble slightly. His grip tightened on the handle as the young man fumbled with his teaching robes to prevent himself from crashing to the floor.

Severus stared down at the dark head of hair that was pressed up against his chest, and as the wide green eyes looked up him in such a manner he felt himself become angry, _incensed_, that those eyes, no matter whose face they were attached to, would look at him in such a way. On top of the fact that the brat was 15 minutes late and just ran into him.

The young man released him after making an undignified noise and made his way to his desk as if burned. Breathing deeply he let the door close behind him he started to walk down the aisle, his eyes never leaving the messy head of hair. A couple people decided to giggle at the dim-witted display but a glare around the room shut the miscreants up.

"Now that Mr. Potter has decided to join us, you may begin. And Mr. Potter," He waited for the emerald eyes to look at him. "100 points from Gryffindor." As he looked around the room some started to work, others looked amused, bored, or just sat there looking brainless. "Well what are you waiting for? GET TO WORK."

He walked around his desk and slowly took a seat, his eyes glued to his godson as he gave potter a list and had him go and get their ingredients. As the young man walked back he knew that Draco was up to something as those were not the Ingredients needed for the potion.

It was almost enough to make him smirk. He watched as the boy became fidgety, nervous. Potter kept sneaking glances at him which only caused him to glare at the boy, who would immediately stiffen and continue to shakily work. It got to the point that Draco got frustrated and took the ingredients to prepare them himself. He added them periodically to the dusky grey colored potion. He watched for a few minutes trying to figure out which potion those ingredients made.

Severus shook his head before getting started on the pile of worthless scraps not even fit enough to be used as toiletry. He would glance up periodically to glare at the brunette and try to guess at the potion. But every time he would make a guess that made sense his godson would add another ingredient or stir a different direction and change the potion completely. So far he had gone through a list of medicinal, dietary, cosmetic, and hair care potions. None of them were right.

As the class reached the last five minutes, he stood and leaned on the front of his desk. "Your potions should be long finished by now. Bottle them up and clean up. If there is any mess you will all be staying to clean the dungeons with your toothbrushes." He watched silently as the little miscreants scrambled to get done. His godson carefully put the shimmery purple potion in a vial and hand it to Potter. Potter looked around confused for a second as Severus started walking towards them. He turned back to Draco and opened his mouth as if to ask a question but as soon as his shadow fell over the desk he froze. His fist clenched around the vial.

"Mr. Potter?"

The boy slowly turned to look at him, those wide emerald eyes asking for a quick death. "Yes sir?"

"What is that you're holding?" The eyes fell to the vial he still held in his hand; the same hand that tipped the vial to the side causing the mixture within to swirl.

"A… potion sir?" Some students snickered as he arched a brow at the smart comment. A comment much like one she would make. He knew there were no ingredients that would harm the young man so he made a decision.

"Really. And what potion would that be. Your abysmal attempt is nowhere near what it is supposed to be."

The young man's head drooped in defeat. "I don't know sir."

"And its effects?" The green eyes clenched shut.

"I don't know sir."

He saw the know it all open her mouth to say something before the Weasley placed his hand over her mouth and shook his head.

"Ah so for the sake of science you shall be trying it." The emerald eyes snapped up to his as cries of protest rang around the classroom. The loudest being the Weasley, who still hadn't taken his hand away from Miss Grangers face.

"SILENCE!"

He looked again at the emerald eyed man and waited.

"Sir?"

He smirked. "Do you really need me to reiterate?"

The young man's Adams apple bobbed before he answered. "No sir."

"Then what is it you're waiting for?" He felt malicious glee as he watched the young man look down at the vial and the cogs began to turn. He almost laughed in glee as realization dawned on the face of the young Potter. He turned sharply to look at Draco, who for his part sat like nothing was going on, a small satisfied smirk played on the blonde's lips.

Severus folded his arms and raised a brow at the young man when he looked back at him. "We are waiting Mr. Potter." The young man looked down at the potion again and this was the part Severus was hoping for, he wanted to hear Potter beg. Whine that it was injustice, he wanted to see him mad. He wanted to see the emotion in those eyes as they stared defiantly back at him. In the recesses of his mind he would admit he wanted it to happen just to give the young man detention. To see more of those eyes, if only for a little while.

The emerald that hardened with determination.

It was for this reason he was shocked that the young man did not complain, did not shout. He just tipped the vial back and swallowed the whole thing. It was something he could see her doing. Nothing happened for a second before his face began to shift. It softened around the edges and sharpened into a more sophisticated look. A feminine look.

And he was not the only one surprised as the young… man fell to the ground. No one moved for a minute before the young Malfoy rushed forward. At this point everyone started to come to their senses. Everyone except that is, the potions master.

Severus stood motionless, his hands clenching and unclenching, as he stared at the lifeless form of Potter. His mind replayed the images but seemed stuck on the last one.

Her face.

Her green eyes.

Her staring at him with wide fearful eyes.

Just like the last time.

Draco yelled out orders and pointed to a couple of the students, but Severus moved forward and picked up the slim, feminine body. He shook his head to clear the fog. As students started in every direction.

This was Potter.

He looked down at the figure. The head was hanging to the side, exposing the pale neck. The clothes seemed to have grown on the body. But then again Potter was always small. He shook his head again.

This was Potter and it was impossible for it to be her.

He wordlessly opened the infirmary doors and lay Potter down. He turned to get Pomfrey but noticed that was taken care of by the group that had followed him up there from the dungeons.

Hermione knocked on the door as the others stood awkwardly near the bed.

"Madame Pomfrey!"

The door opened and the stern matron stuck her head out.

"What in the name of Merlin is wrong Miss Granger?" The girl babbled on about what happened, Severus ignored the glare from the matron, as the older woman started running scans and changed Potter into a pair of hospital clothes. These were also baggy on the slim shoulders and trim waist. She surrounded the bed with a curtain and ushered everyone outside of it before closing it and finishing up her exams. In that time Dumbledore slipped in looking just as cheerful as ever. Like nothing was wrong.

Severus looked back at the white curtain. It was not her. Potter had been turned into a girl. But she was not _her._

It just couldn't be.

He turned to his godson, who stood white faced against the wall. "What the hell were you thinking?"

He pushed himself off and pointed a finger at him. "Me? What the hell were you thinking? Making him try a potion even you didn't recognize!"

Severus fumed. Because his godson was right in the end. "That idiot was not supposed to actually drink it!"

"What did you expect?" The Weasley was red In the face as he surged from the bed he had been sitting on.

He expected the youth to get mad, to do anything to show Severus the emotion in those eyes. Her eyes.

"I expected that arrogant snot to grovel and complain and whine. NOT ACTUALLY TAKE IT!"

Granger shook her head from next to Dumbledore. "Well Professor that is not Harry. You should know that by now."

Severus sneered and crossed his arms. He knew Potter was not arrogant. Knew he rarely complained, whined or anything that could make him look weak. Dumbledore motions for everyone's attention.

"Mr. Malfoy what was the original potion?"

The blonde flushed and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. "Well it was just a joke potion." Everyone was quiet. Severus tried not the sneer at the obvious response. He settled for glaring at him. Draco huffed before folding his arms. "I had to get him back for giving me duck vocals for a day so I went to the twins and asked them to give a recipe to change him."

Severus covered his face with his hands and groaned. The Weasley twins. He should have known. He imagined everyone else felt the same to.

"What was this potion Mr. Malfoy?" His godson blushed before he mumbled a reply.

"Well it was just supposed to give him tits but obviously that didn't work."

He held out his hand. "Where is this recipe?" The steel eyes looked at him defiantly before they looked into the bag. His godson handed him a small sheet of paper. He could feel all eyes on him as he scanned the recipe. After going through the ingredients he sighed deeply.

"Don't worry professor. She won't be too mad."

Severus barely suppressed the urge to jump as the Lovegood girl spoke up. When she had entered the infirmary he didn't know. They all sat in thought for a minute before he saw the shadow behind the curtain move.

"AHHH!..." all seven watched as Potter ran passed them into the washroom, the door clicking firmly behind her. " MALFOY!" His godson flinched at the indignant screech. "Give me tits! Give me Tits! You turned me into a bloody girl… what was wrong with my bits you bloody wanker!"

The Weasley burst into laughter while the four woman flushed. The bushy haired woman tentatively knocked on the door.

"Harry, it's not like you don't have bits." Her blush stained face looked back at them all. Malfoy looked horrified at the direction this conversation was going. "It's just that you have a different set of bits."

"Hermione that does not help me at all." Came the broken voice from beyond the door. The Weasley was still laughing.

But the sound of the broken voice, like he had heard so much before. It tore at his heart to hear it again and know it wasn't her.

Severus glared at the red head before moving towards the door. This was getting out of hand. He was going to drag that young man… woman out here and tell her to suck it up. If only to bury his own emotions.

His godson walked a bit in front of him. He felt more than saw as Weasley stood next to him. Draco pulled out his wand and unlocked the door. He pushed it open.

"Look Harry, I'm sor.." The door opened by the inch. Inch by horrifying inch as more and more skin was revealed. It seemed Potter had divested herself of all her clothes and was standing in front of the mirror. He was only glad that the three of them were tall enough to block the sinful few in front of her from the other four occupants in the room. The door slowly revealed her, the lamp light making her skin glow.

Weasley slapped his hand to his nose. "Bloody hell Harry why are you naked?"

It started with her legs. They were shapely and firmly muscled but not overly so. She was turned to the side her head facing over her right shoulder looking into the mirror behind her. They could see everything. The way the light glowed around her pale shoulder. The same shoulder that its muscles twitched as the head turned towards the door.

He couldn't stop it. His eyes started at the curve of her shoulder and fell along the curve in her back to the firm arse that rounded to the shapely legs. And back up to the flat, defined abs and perfectly round breasts. He could feel his pants tighten as his mind supplied images. Ones he had long tried to rid himself of. Images that she blocked by angrily pulled the oversized shirt over her head.

Her harms folded protectively around her waist as a light dusting of crimson covered her cheeks and neck.

Harry Potter had been turned into a woman.

A woman that looked a lot like her.

He looked at her angry emerald eyes and realized exactly in that moment what he was doing.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

His godson placed his hands over his eyes. "Honestly? Trying not to look…"

"Before that you bastard!" Those red lips growled out.

"I was trying to apologize." The blonde stated it simply as if that fixed everything. A slim black eyebrow rose skeptically.

"With the door open?"

"Well we didn't think you would have thrown your clothes off in your breakdown…" Weasley muffled out from behind his hand.

Severus tried to work his voice. His mind supplying the words he wished to rage.

But his brain refused to connect to his mouth. It was still trying to burn the image into his retinas.

"Well what would you have done if your bits have disappeared? I was not going to check if I was just tucked where anyone could have walked in on me."

His mouth clicked shut as he raised his hand to his mouth. He tried again. "Mr.… Ms… POTTER."

The dark, angry emerald eyes focused on him and he wished he could have kept his mouth shut.

"YOU! What's wrong with you, you great bat! I am not my father, hell I'm not even male! And you're staring like I'm some sideshow freak! This is your entire fault!" The anger faded and the anguish that filled them was blocked by her hands as her head fell into them, her shoulders started to shake. "GET OUT!"

An invisible force pushed him and the other two young men back into the ward.

"What's wrong with me?"

He watched frozen as the woman passed by him, glaring. As the door closed and the ward became silent, he looked back towards the curtained bed.

"Well if her Hormones are like this when she's NOT PMSing, I would hate to be around when she is."

He felt himself pale. If she was anything like her, no one would.

A/N thought this would be a good thing to do. Sorry it's not the update you were hoping for and that it took so long. I just recently moved and with work and everything else writing has not been high on my list of things to do. But hopefully I'll have more time now. tell me what you think TTFN


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine. As sad as that makes me.

Warning: There will be fem slash of the girl on girl variety. If you haven't guessed yet you are blonde. And that in itself was a hint. But not in this chapter, maybe. It depends on how far we get. I'm not entirely sure when the fem slash will be… but I promise to warn if anything of the like pops up because I don't want prudes complaining that they didn't like what they read. There is a warning right here, and a warning before every lime like lemon thing. So no flames please.

A/N so it hasn't been too long, only a couple weeks… Okay it's been forever….I wish it truly hadn't been that long and I truly am sorry. So it's been forever and I have come to the conclusion that I am that which I hate. I am an author that does not update regularly and leaves readers waiting for months and I hate that. But I have plenty of time to be writing so I should be able to update more often, but I do not have internet so the only times I will be able to update is when I am able to find Wi-Fi. So there we go. Anyway... To the chapter! Allons-y

/parseltongue/

_Thoughts _

"Normal speech."

PREVIOUSLY

_Well hello, what have we here?_

ALLONS-Y!

_Obviously that is a rhetorical question. You CAN see most of what is in my head so you know what we have here so skip the entire talk bit and put me in a house. _

_It is interesting that this is first time I have had to deal with someone who has travelled in time, and related to Miss Evans too, hmmm that explains a lot. Your people were not meant to take such things. And a sex change… How interesting… _

_Wait, what? People? What are you babbling about? Hat speak to me…_

…_You have a strong mind, quiet intelligent. Cunning and you are very determined. You are hiding much, some you do not even know about…_

_Hat! What's this about my mother?!_

…_You are strong, brave, and have excellent leadership qualities but it seems Gryffindor was not my first choice for you…_

_Stop ignoring me you flea ridden bean bag!_

"SLYTHERIN"

Zetsumei roughly pulled the hat off her head and glared at it as she clenched her fists tightly, digging her nails into the worn fabric.

"You will tell me what it is you were babbling about stupid insipid burlap sack, or Merlin help me I will burn you." She hissed in a strained whisper. The hat looked to be thinking for a moment before that tear it used as a mouth spread wide in some sort of grin.

"The answers you seek cannot be told by me. That path, you must walk alone. Have a good night Miss Lillien." And the hat disappeared. With her fists still clenched she turned and gave Dumbledore a slight glare. He just smiled at her and gave her a shooing motion towards her new house.

She turned around and made her way past all the starring, whispering students towards the table against the far wall. She held her fists at her sides but held her head high, ignoring those around her.

_Dumbledore's great niece, a Slytherin?_

_I wonder if she's a Death eater._

_Dumbledore must be disappointed. _

She gritted her teeth as she approached the green table; as she approached the table and whispers grew she scowled at those nearest her. She caught the eyes of Narcissa, who stood from her place at the table and rushed towards her.

"Well hello again dear. It seems I'll be seeing much more of you now. Why don't you join me?" She wove her arm with hers, linking their fingers together and pulled her towards her seat. Sumei tried to ignore the heat that spread from the tips of her fingers, up her arms and through the rest of her body. It seemed to instantly calm her and she couldn't help but give a small smile. When they reached the seat Narcissa released her hand and motioned for her to sit next to her.

Sumei took a deep breath before sitting. As she sat at the table the food appeared and everyone started to serve themselves. She bowed her head as she peeked at the woman next to her through the hair that fell in her face. The blonde smiled to Lucius who was sitting across from her as she reached for a roll. Her slender wrist and arms covered with the normal school cardigan. She let her eyes travel along the curve of the slender neck that was exposed, to her slim jaw. The blue eyes sparkled as she smiled.

Sumei felt her heart beat quicker as she watched the other woman and the heat start to travel through her body again. She averted her eyes to the empty plate in front of her.

_So you still like girls. Not like that's a bad thing. Narcissa is beautiful, funny, and she has saved her life. _Her eyes lifted so that she looked through her lashes at the man that sat in front of her. Their eyes connected for a split second over the book he was 'reading'. They both looked down at realizing they had been caught. _ And you still like Snape. Brilliant. _

A hand came into view in front of her making her lean back away from the contacted and look at the owner.

_Regulus. _

"You should eat, you probably have had a long day." He smiled at her crookedly. His ice eyes flashing with amusement as he pushed the bowl of mashed potatoes towards her. She smiled shyly at him as she grabbed it.

He really did look a lot like Sirius.

She looked across the hall at the loudest table, the group of four being the loudest. A couple seats down sat a beautiful auburn haired woman who sat reading quietly. She looked like she belonged more in Ravenclaw then in the house of the Lions. She chewed absentmindedly as she looked back at the small group who all were looking at her. She lowered her spoon and stared back. She took her wand out underneath the table and gave it a small swish. Watching intently as the four watched her oblivious to the four dishes of gravy rising around them.

But the rest of the hall weren't.

Next to her Narcissa and Regulus both stopped their conversations and watched with slack jaws as Sirius Black the family member from across the hall stood up.

"Hey, new girl do you have a staring problem?"

Zetsumei smiled sweetly and looked around the hall carefully. Dumbledore looked at her with smiling eyes as the bowls started circling the small group.

"No I'm just wondering why you remind me so much of a mutt." The four jaws fell open and he fell back into his seat. Narcissa and Regulus looked at her sharply. Across from her a smirk spread across the thin lips. The auburn haired woman was looking at her curiously.

The four put their heads together and began to whisper, sneaking glances at her, still not noticing the four bowls above their heads.

She looked down at her plate, the half-eaten potatoes. She went to pick up her spoon again but half way there she sighed. It was no fun anymore not when she was alone. She dropped her hand to the table; and stood from the table, dropping the spell. She ignored the squawks and laughter as she walked from the hall.

It was now that she was going to do a prank when it hit her. She was in the past. Alone, and she had no way home. She walked out the main doors towards the lake. Or specifically the willow tree that she usually sat under near the lake. As she sank into the grass she pulled the shrunken trunk out and she opened it. In neat shrunken piles were her clothes and shoes to one side. The other had women's essentials. Even now the thought still made her blush.

She brushed that all aside and pulled out a smaller box at the bottom. Inside was a book and some special quills that she had picked up from the stationary shop when this had all started. When the others had found out they insisted that she document what happened to her. And to start it all out they stole the book and on the first page put two pictures one that had been take at the beginning of the year when Draco had turned her hair green and then one from after she had been turned into a girl.

She ran her hand along the smooth black leather that had her name etched in silver letters at the bottom. When she had become comfortable with the new her, had finally admitted to herself at least that she was happy being a girl, she had made it so she was the only that could see the last picture of Harry Potter. And now with the backfire of the antidote she supposed she should feel sad that she couldn't get back to her life. But now she could start over.

She opened the book to the second page and read over her last few entrees before flipping to a blank page.

She stared at the page for a moment before sighing and closing the book. What was she too write?

_I'm sorry guys pranking just isn't the same without you. Draco your mom is hot. _

She shook her head and put the book back into its box, smiling as the wind breezed past.

"As prefect I must ask you to return to the dormitory." Her hands slowly smoothed the lid on the box as she peeked through her lashes at the tall slim figure standing between the hanging branches of the willow. The breeze picked up the ends of his dark hair and moved it barely across his cheeks. She slowly put the box into her trunk and shrunk it. He arched a brow at her and folded his arms.

Severus Snape.

She looked at him from the side, his ebony eyes narrowed at her. They burned through her like a fever, but she ignored it in favor of putting the small trunk back into her pocket. As she stood he moved forward blocking her path.

"I will escort you." His dark eyes bore into hers as he dared her to defy him. They scanned her face carefully as she smiled.

"I do not believe that is necessary, I think I should be fine by myself." She moved around him, smiling softly as his eyes followed her. When she looked back over her shoulder his eyes followed her calculatingly.

She looked forward again, watching the glowing lights from the windows of the castle smiling softly. If she was going to be here there was no use being all gloom and doom about it. Take some stories home… if she gets home. But until then she could finish her year.

She looked behind her again and the dark figure standing between the branches of the tree.

Get to know people better.

A/N So I have plenty of time to write and im starting with editing everything I've done. This is the first one. Also it seems either the computer or this site is off because I did update one other 'World So Cold' but it says the last update date was 7/22/2012. So I have no internet and will update when I am able to find some.


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